Returning To Earth
by IJones007
Summary: After fleeing the planet at the end of 'Children of Earth', Jack returns to Cardiff and finds himself standing in a place which holds so many precious memories. Jack Harkness is there because he has had enough of running away from the pain.
1. Remembering

__It was his second time being back on Earth after the events of the 456. He had come back because he had given up running from the pain, the anger and the disgust he felt within himself. He told himself that the feelings would eventually go, that they would be replaced by the good memories he had gained over the years, but standing in the centre of Cardiff had made the emotions raw again.

On his return to the planet, he had had the change to select where the ship dropped him off but, instead of choosing a different city, he chose Cardiff. The one place which had caused him so much pain and grief, but it was also the place where he held so many fond memories.

With a quick turn in his heels he found himself walking down a street lined with different kinds of restaurants. The smells filled his nostrils and he sighed with a small smile, he loved this city.

He became suddenly aware that many of the cities inhabitants were looking at him strangely. Maybe it was due to the way he was dressed or maybe the Welsh people couldn't help but gaze at his good looks. Or they were frightened by the dead expression showing through his facial features.

Then he stopped, causing an elderly woman to make an invasive manoeuvre before she collided with his back. She cursed at him, her broad accent filling his ears but his mind was somewhere else.

His gaze was fixed on a point through the large pain of class that made up the front of one of the restaurants. He was looking at a table laid out for two. His mouth fell open slightly as sadness distorted his dead expression. Then suddenly memories and images flashed through his brain …

-007-

_"You're terrible, you do know that, right?" The Welshman laughed as he took a sip of the red coloured liquid in his glass._

_"Yeah, but that was the only way I was going to get what I wanted,"_

_"And did you get it?" He laughed._

_"No." He replied joining in with the laughter. "In the end I had to use more of an aggressive approach to the situation." He paused. "No, but my methods normal work."_

_"Maybe you need to change the record, Jack," He took another sip of wine. "Or at least dust it off."_

_"I'll have you know, Ianto Jones, my record does not need dusting off," A grin appeared on his face. "Besides, my old tunes seem to work on you." He winked and laughed, enjoying the moment._

_Ianto didn't have time to answer as their food was placed in front of them. The Welshman picked up his knife and folk and began to tuck into his food. He was about to place a folk full into his mouth when Jack said something Ianto didn't expect him to say in a million years._

_"You are amazing, you know that right?"_

_Ianto nearly dropped his folk. He looked up at the man opposite him and gave him a quizzical eyebrow._

_Realising what he had just voiced aloud, Jack suddenly became flushed and stumbled over his words. "You are … You're … You …" He was surprised when he felt Ianto's hand on top of his, he was even more surprised when he glanced up to find himself on the receiving end of a reassuring smile. He sighed and felt himself relax but, at the same time, he felt confused. "How do you do that?" He asked._

_"Do what?"_

_"Make all my worries evaporate."_

_Ianto shrugged in reply. "I'm just that good," He smirked at his own big headedness._

_"Yeah, no but seriously, not many people have the ability to do that to me." There was a pause. "You're not an alien are you?" They both laughed._

-007-

Jack was suddenly pulled out of his thoughts as he heard a familiar voice above the crowd.

"Jack?"

It drew closer.

"Jack?"

He turned and looked down to see a brown haired women looking up at him with wide happy eyes. "Jack!" She threw her arms around him. "I've missed you." She whispered but pulled back when she realised he didn't return her hug. She was smiling like an idiot, so pleased to see her Captain back on Earth, but that smile soon faded at the sight of Jack's dead eyes. The Welshwomen used to gaze into those bright blue eyes as the man spoke to her. Even when he was angry they always seemed to sparkle.

An uncomfortable silence descended on the pair as they stood on the street. "Hello Gwen," Jack said, his American accent as quiet as game of Chinese Whispers.

The women turned to face him and opened her mouth to speak. Did she dare ask the question? Yes. "How are you Jack?" She winced as the words left her mouth.

Suddenly Jack's gaze was on her and Gwen immediately felt a shiver run up and down her spine. It was wrong, she was used to seeing happiness, love and life with in his features but they had been replaced with look of self pity. "I'm alive," He shrugged. "Is that good enough for you?"

Memories of their conversation on the hill raced into her head. When she had asked the same question back then he had replied 'Surviving'. So was 'I'm alive' better or worse. By the looks of things, it was worse. "Jack," She spoke slowly, finding the right words to say. "Surely you've moved on a little from that year?"

"A year feels like twenty years for me, Gwen," There was hardly any sigh of his old tuneful voice as he spoke. "Do you really think it is that easy for me to 'get over' something like that?"

She shook her head as she watched Jack turn his focus back to the window. Gwen tried to source out the spot he was looking at, but it was no use. "So what bought you back?"

A minute passed before Jack sighed. "I couldn't keep running," Another sighed. "I've done it so many times, tried to run away and start a new life, but somehow I couldn't this time." He voice hitched towards the end of his sentence.

"Couldn't you go back and-"

"No, it doesn't work like the movies say it does," He finally looked into Gwen's eyes. "Don't you think, if I had the chance, I would have gone back and fixed what happened that year?" He drew in a deep breath; it was obvious he was trying to contain himself. "I have a reel of film in my head," He tapped one of his temples with his index finger. "And it's playing the same old movie over and over again. I want it out."

"Then, try and move on," Gwen suggested and wished she hadn't.

"I've tried!" The tears had started to show at the corners of his eyes. Gwen knew how hard it was to loose a person as she nearly lost Rhys, but she couldn't imagine what Jack was going through, having lost so many people himself. Gwen found it hard enough pulling back the red covers that one of her team mates was laying there motionless, never to wake again. But Jack was the one who had witnessed Ianto's final moments and that was the memory which was playing in his head.

-007-

_Whilst eating their main meals, Jack and Ianto continued to laugh and enjoy themselves. At one point they were having a serious conversation with the surrounding tables about some political topic. Jack even managed to make an elderly lady blush by telling her she was looking amazing for her age. Ianto just rolled his eyes and continued to eat his food._

_Soon the customers they had been talking to said their goodbyes and were soon replaced with fresh faces. Jack was about to greet their fellow dinners when Ianto learnt over and stole a bite from his plate._

_The Captain looked horrified. "You owe me a kiss for that," He grinned and without any warning the Welshman had managed to stand up from his seat, move round the table and place a tender kiss on Jack's lips before turning on his heels and heading to the bathroom._

_On his return from the lavatory Ianto noticed a familiar face sat towards the back of the premises. As he sat back down, he realised Jack was looking at him with a very suggestive grin. "I thought you weren't a fan of public displays of affection?"_

_Ianto didn't react in the way Jack had hoped. Instead the Welshman spoke quietly. "Yeah, well I think I might have attracted the attention of someone."_

_"What? Someone here, you mean?" Jack leant forward and placed his head on one fist. To anyone passing by it looked like they were having a normal conversation except it was the exact opposite._

_"Yeah," Flicking his eyes quickly in the direction of the person of their topic he continued. "I think she is friend with my sister."_

_Jack sat back in his chair looking at his Welshman. He was about to speak when. Out of the corner of his eye, saw the women outside mobile in hand. He quickly placed a hand on Ianto's and squeezed it gently for reassurance. That was when they heard the women squeal Ianto's sisters name…_

-007-


	2. Coffee Will Never Be The Same

_**Firstly, I'd like to apologise for the delay of this chapter and secondly, any mistakes are my own as this has not be beta read. But enjoy.**_

* * *

Jack smirked at the memory replaying itself in his head. It had been a moment's piece for his brain before the dreaded scene of the 456 replaced it and resumed playing the never ending piece of film.

A polyphonic ringtone of some classical tune filled his ears and he realised the women next to him, phone was ringing. He saw Gwen hit the answer button and watched as a smile made its way quickly over her features.

"Rhys!" She laughed. "No, look listen will you?" She sighed as the man on the other end of the phone continued to talk. "Shut up, guess who I bumped into," She laughed once more at the suggested person that came to Rhys. "No, Jack…"

The conversation between the couple continued but Jack faded out as his mind wondered to yet another memory.

-007-

_"What will you do whilst I'm gone?" Gwen asked as she looked up at him, her eyes wide with happiness._

_"Oh the usual, pizza, Ianto," They both laughed. But some how, to Jack, Gwen's felt a little forced even a little false, but he ignored it and continued. "Save the world a couple of times," He was aware of the conversation continuing but, if he was asked later on what they had spoken about, he wouldn't have been able to give an answer. However, the words 'will you miss me?' were picked up by his wondering brain, but nothing else. All he could think about was the odd, strange and unnatural feeling of having a slim female figure in his arms. Over the years Jack had danced with many women of all shapes and sizes, but this certain human made him feel uncomfortable. There were several things wrong with the Welshwomen, one being the way she always wanted Jack's attention and most of the time she received it, to his annoyance. The second was she asked so many questions about anything and everything and it got underneath his skin. No matter what he did she would always get the answer out of him and that, yet again, annoyed him. The third thing was the puppy dog eyes which followed him around the room. Everywhere Jack went those eyes went too._

_Suddenly he was pulled out of his thoughts by a small cough. He physically shook himself to rid his brain of his previous thoughts. Jack watched as Gwen held out her arms awaiting Ianto to step into them but with a quick turn on his heels Jack found his own arms fill with the Welshman instead of Gwen's. He couldn't help but smile._

_A clap from Gwen sounded above the music as she tried to hide the somewhat embarrassing event that had just occurred. She was having fun dancing with Jack until Ianto came along and ruined the moment. Thoughts came to her mind that, if they had been alone, things would have progressed and her fantasise might have come true. But now she was walking over to her new husband, Rhys Williams, those words filled her with happiness but it was soon lost at the sight that filled her gaze._

_Jack was holding Ianto close to him, closer than he had held her. The sides of their heads were gently resting together and their eyes were closed as they silently swayed to the music._

_Out the corner of her eye, Gwen noticed Owen catch Toshiko's attention and he nodded in the direction of the two men in the middle of the dance floor. A small smile spread on the Japanese women's face which made the pain of jealousy all the more real._

_As the song changed into some cheesy pop track Jack pulled his back just a little so he could see Ianto features. "Thank you," He whispered._

_"No problem," Ianto replied with a small chuckle. He knew what he had done; he didn't need to hear Jack voice it. But saving Jack from the awkward moment with Gwen was nothing compared to asking the Captain to dance with him, especially in front of so many strangers. Some of the guests had smiled at the sight whereas some of the ladies were filled with disappoint that they wouldn't be able to get a chance with either of the two men. In a way their dancing proved to the team Ianto was not just a part-time shag, he was more than that. Plus, Jack felt slightly overwhelmed that he, Ianto Jones wouldn't say boo to a goose, asked him for a dance in front of everyone. Of course Owen probably wouldn't let him forget it, but for then and there it was nice. And it was all that Jack needed._

-007-

"Jack?" A hand waved in front of his face.

"What?" He looked at Gwen, confusion written in the frown of his face.

A sigh came from Gwen's mouth. "I said, would you like to get a drink or something?"

"Um yeah." He shrugged and followed Gwen into the nearest café which just happened to be a few stores down on the opposite side to the restaurant.

After finding a seat and a glass of water put into his hands he found himself starring at Gwen. He noticed she looked well for someone who was spending the night getting up every few hours to sort a crying baby. Then Jack realised his head was filled with many questions. But before he could start the women in front of him started talking.

"You know, Rhys and I finally moved into a bigger house. It is so much better than that flat we used to have." She took a sip of her coffee and Jack caught a smell of it. His stomach knotted and he had to fight not to run out of the shop and gulp in the fresh air. The smell of coffee had a tendency to destroy his defences, he didn't want to break down in front of Gwen nor did he want to do it in public.

"Gwen-"

"We got cushions, after several hours of debating." She took in a deep breath waiting to start the next sentence as soon as it came into her head.

"Gwen I-" Jack sighed.

For the next ten minutes or more were of Gwen speaking about everything that had happened within the time Jack was aware from Earth. Once she had finished, Jack spotted his chance and spoke.

"I'm sorry Gwen." She looked at him with a slightly confused and worried expression. In that moment he wondered how many times he had say sorry in the many years he had been alive but then he wondered how many times he was going to say it in the future. '_Too many times'_ was his conclusion '_so better start now'_. "I'm sorry for everything, Gwen."


	3. Seeing Things

**I do not own the song lyrics I have included within this chapter. I wished I did it is such a beautiful song.**

* * *

He took in a deep breath. "I didn't mean to cause all the…pain Torchwood gave you. If I'd have known that I wouldn't have recruited anyone all those years ago." He felt a hand on his arm.

"But Cardiff and the world need saving Jack. Who else would have done that?"

"Unit?" Jack tried to laugh but it felt wrong, he wasn't ready to be carefree yet.

Gwen gave him a look. "No, Jack we stayed to help you defend the Earth because we wanted to. As you said, we could have left at anytime, but we didn't."

"Yeah, and look where it got you all." Jack said through gritted teeth. "You're the only one left Gwen, how did-" He swallowed the lump in his throat to stop him from saying what he truly wanted to know but instead whispered. "Why did they have to die?"

Gwen couldn't answer. She had asked herself and Rhys the same question so many times. She wondered what would have happened if Tosh and Owen had been there when the 456 had taken over. They probably would have sorted it out quicker than they had done. But on the plus side they found out Jack could survive being blown apart. Gwen didn't want to think about how much pain her Captain had been in when his body was ripped apart.

But now she was staring at a broken man, whose heart had been torn to pieces as his lover died in his arms and she didn't know what to do. She was so used to seeing him full of energy, life and love but that had all but vanished. She wanted the old days back, where the entire Torchwood team was working hard solving a case underneath the Millennium Centre and she missed the times when Captain Jack Harkness would walk into the room and everyone would stare at me.

Sitting in the café that hadn't happened, yes people looked at them when they had entered but when they caught his eye and saw the sadness within them, they simply smiled weakly then turned back to their drinks. It wasn't right.

After a while Gwen noticed Jack was looking at her cup of rapidly cooling coffee and the guilty feeling sunk in as she realized what she had done.

-007-

_Sat __in __the__ boardroom__ with__ his__ boots__ on __the __desk;__Jack__ smiled__ at __his__ team __as __they__ listened__ to__ Tosh __presenting __them __with__ her__ latest__ ideas __for __the__ Hub's __security __system._

_It was __then__ the __smell__ of__ coffee__ drifted__ through __the __open __door __of __the __room__ making __Jack__ sigh __then __his __body __filled__ with __joy __at,__ not __only __the__ sight __of __coffee,__ but __its __carrier__ – __Ianto __Jones. __Jack __smiled __again.__ This __time __showing __his__ fondness __for __the__ Welshman __but __it__ was __soon__ deflated __by__ the __evil__ glare __Gwen__ shot __at __him._

_A mug __was__ placed __in __front __of__ him __and __Jack __watched __the__ steam __rise__ to__ disperse __in __the __air.__ Then__ he __looked __up __to __see __Ianto __walking __around__ the__ table__ to__ claim __his__ seat.__ Once __sat__ down, __Jack __nodded __his __thanks. __Then __thoughts __of__ the__ previous __night__ flooded __his __mind.__ Thoughts __of__ how__ dominant __and__ commanding __Ianto__ had __been.__ Secretly __Jack __loved __it__ when __his __lover __took __charge._

_It was __then __he r__ealized__ he__ had __missed__ what__ Toshiko __had __been__ saying.__ Damn,__ that__ Welshman__ was __too__ distracting._

-007-

Jack laughed through his nose but it didn't meet his eyes. Gwen smiled sadly at him when he glanced up from his coffee. It was then she finally realized how he felt. She had felt like that when Rhys had died due to being stabbed by an old crazy bloke. But what Jack was feeling must be at least ten times worse because he had to live forever with the guilt of what happened on that tragic day.

He sighed and looked around the café, why had he come back here? The memories were still raw, still there and they would be there for a _very_long time. Everywhere he looked he could see things which reminded him of the people he had lost; medicines, computers, especially coffee and suits. Tears built in his eyes. He blinked rapidly to clear them and then he froze.

In slow motion, walking past the window was Ianto. He was wearing Jack's favourite suit, the black one with the pin strips. The red shirt and patterned tie could easily be seen as it seemed to stand out against the rain clouds which hung over Cardiff. Slowly Ianto turned his head to look through the window of the café and straight into the teary eyes of Jack.

The Captain made to move but he felt the hand of Gwen, still on his arm, holding him back.

Then Ianto's voice filled his ears. '_Don__'__t__ let__ go, __never __give__ up __it__'__s __such __a__ wonderful __life__…_' Then the Welshman was gone, vanished into thin air, never to be seen again.

Heavy breaths escaped Jack's lips as huge droplets of salty water cascade down his cheeks. Warm arms made their way around him but they didn't comfort him, they weren't the arms he wanted to hold him tight, to tell it was going to be okay.

He tore himself away from Gwen, got up, grabbed his coat from the back of his chair and fled the café

He turned to walk in the direction of the water tower and to where he used to call home. People looked at him as he stumbled to his destination, using the sleeve of his shirt to wipe away the tears.

The water tower came into view and memories filled his head once more.

-007-

_He __held __on__to __Ianto__'__s __hand s__tightly.__ "__What __happened?__" __He__ asked __the __man __in__ front __of__ him,__ but__ when __he__ didn__'__t__ say __anything__ he__ turned__ to__ Tosh__ who__ gave__ him__ the __answer __he __needed._

_Then suddenly__ he__ had__ strong __arms__ around__ him.__ "__We__ thought __we__'__d __lost __you.__" __The__ Welsh__ vowels __were __filled__ with__ relief __and__ happiness._

_As __he __started__ to__ calm __down,__ Jack __held __onto __him __as__ tight __as __he__ could.__ "__You__ saved __me.__" __He__ whispered._

-007-

As the clouds released their contents and the rain was mixed with his tears, Jack smiled. Ianto had saved him. In fact Ianto hadn't just saved him from death. He had saved him from loneliness, showed him how to live and love again. _Love_. If only he had told him how he felt on that day instead of waiting six months to tell him only to loose the Welshman again. Why was life never fair? Why couldn't he have the chance to live a normal life or to have someone he loved to stay by his side forever?_  
_


End file.
